Categories
Baseball Election 2008 Humor Obama Politics The Clintons

Al-Zawahri Zawahri speaks

From Andy Borowitz of the New Yorker (h/t Joy)…

The Premise:

Al-Qaida No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahri will soon answer the hundreds of questions submitted by journalists, militants and others about the terrorist network’s future, its media wing announced Wednesday.
Associated Press.

Excerpts:

Dear Ayman al-Zawahiri:

Does Al Qaeda ever endorse political candidates? If so, I recommend that you give a big thumbs-up to Barack Obama. I guarantee you he hates America as much as you do (if not more)! It would be great if you appeared in a bunch of TV ads and called him “the evildoing President that evildoers have been waiting for.”

—Bill in Chappaqua

Ayman al-Zawahiri writes:

Al Qaeda is only interested in American elections to the extent that we can plunge them into abject chaos. So this year, as in every other year, we are supporting Ralph Nader.

Dear Ayman al-Zawahiri:

I have been trying to get through to WFAN Sports Radio 66 for the past three weeks, but they keep putting me on hold. So let me ask you instead: Do you think the Mets will go all the way?

—Mike in Flushing

Ayman al-Zawahiri writes:

Raining down misery and destruction on the Great Satan leaves me little time for such idle contemplations. That said, if Johan Santana puts up the kind of numbers he did for the Twins, look out.

The rest here.

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Humor Politics Videos

Nostalgia for the Bush administration

It’s almost enough to make one feel nostalgic for the Bush administration.  Almost.

Categories
Humor Political Philosophy Videos

The McLovin’ Fund

Donate today. It’s a worthy cause.

Categories
Humor

Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller

Last Saturday, a domestic dispute in Commerce City, Colorado led to the arrest of a 19 year old named Joseph Manzanares.  According to Denver’s Channel 7 ABC affiliate, Mr. Manzanares “stormed” into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her, and knocked over a number of display cases.  The police were called and arrested him in his home.

A police spokesperson described the cause of the dispute as concerns over their 4 year old’s upbringing:

They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised.

What different ideas you might ask?  Well, his mother is a Crip and wants her son to join the Crips; the father is a member of the lesser known Westside Ballers and wishes his son to become a member of that gang.

All in all, I think the toddler is set for life.

Categories
Criticism Holy Cross Humor Obama Politics The Media

Chris Matthews: Entertaining Bloviation

Mark Leibovich has a long piece in this weekend’s New York Times profiling Chris Matthews, bloviator extraordinaire and Holy Cross grad. This last fact is especially relevant because I tend to have a slightly irrational affection for prominent Holy Cross grad. ((For those unaware, the College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA is my alma mater.)) Chris Matthews is no exception. Despite the attacks on him from various liberal sources including Media Matters and despite the fact that a number of liberal thinkers I admire point to Chris Matthews as exemplifying what is worst and most destructive in today’s media, I still like the guy. Of course – I don’t quite buy the premise – let’s call it the Glenn Greenwald premise – the blames the media more than any other source for our dysfunctional politics. I’ll be writing more about that as time goes on.

I’m a big fan of Mr. Greenwald – and even as I agree with most of the individual points he makes, and with his overall view of the larger political dysfunction, I disagree with the central thesis – of his blog and apparently his new book. I plan on reading his book in the next few weeks and posting my thoughts.

But for the moment, let’s appreciate one of the more entertaining characters in cable news, Chris Matthews, with a few excerpts from the Times piece:

There is a level of solipsism about Matthews that is oddly endearing in its self-conscious extreme, even by the standards of television vanity…

Sometimes during commercial breaks, Matthews will boast to Olbermann of having restrained himself during the prior segment. “And I reward him with a grape,” Olbermann says…

“I remember we were out hitchhiking once,” O’Regan told me. Matthews started arguing about Nixon and Vietnam. “It was just like watching his show today. Chris would ask a question, then he would answer it himself and then the person was invited to comment on Chris’s answer to his own question…”

By contrast, Matthews has called Obama “bigger than Kennedy” and compared the success of his campaign to “the New Testament.” His reviews of Obama’s speeches have been comically effusive at times, as when he described “this thrill going up my leg” after an Obama victory speech. (“Steady,” Olbermann cautioned him on the air.)

Categories
Election 2008 Humor Obama Politics The Clintons Videos

Maybe that challenge doesn’t look so bad for Mr. Obama after all.

[reddit-me]On the Ellen Degeneres Show, the host gave Ms. Clinton a chance to show off her own bowling prowess after she challenged Mr. Obama to a bowl-off:
(h/t to Joy for the link)

Maybe that challenge doesn’t look so bad for Mr. Obama after all.

(For those following the daily “freak show” less than myself, the Clinton challenge is below the jump.)

Categories
Baseball Humor

The 2008 New York Mets

Stephen Rodrick of New York Magazine has found the perfect ‘rallying cry’ for the 2008 New York Mets:

“Everyone cross your fingers!”

Fingers appropriately crossed.

Categories
Humor Politics The Web and Technology

Ed Markey’s Avatar

Absolutely bizarre story from Dana Milbank’s Washington Post:

“Ladies and gentlemen, in approximately 10 seconds, the Ed Markey avatar is going to gavel this hearing,” the flesh-and-blood Chairman Edward Markey (D-Mass.) announced in the panel’s Rayburn hearing room. “There he is. He’s done it.”

Markey looked across the room at a jumbo computer screen showing his cartoonish avatar, named EdMarkey Alter. “My avatar actually looks like he’s been working out,” Markey noted approvingly, adding: “There are also several other avatars who have been invited to watch today’s hearing.”

Indeed there were: a goth character with feathered wings, a pink cat, a phantom with shimmering gray dreadlocks, a winged grasshopper, women in tube and bikini tops, and a naked man floating through the air. They were all “watching” the hearing from cyberspace via the virtual community Second Life — and the lawmakers were agog.

Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) admired Markey’s avatar. “He looks like he is a bit younger, and he probably appreciates that, having come off a little basketball injury.”

Categories
Humor

A Guy Can Only Be Called “Annie” So Many Times…

[digg-reddit-me]

The best tagline ever.

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Humor

Religion, sexuality, and mystery

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.  The instructions were:

The story had to contain the following three things:

  1. Religion.
  2. Sexuality.
  3. Mystery.

Only one of the stories in the entire class was given an A +…

“Good God,  I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it?”