Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Romney Flip Flips Again, Chooses Biden as VP

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

As Bill Clinton said at the 2008 convention, “I love Joe Biden.”

All night, Biden hammered Ryan with his words and gestures and Ryan stuck to his talking points. While Obama seemed withdrawn in the face of Romney’s dazzling, primetime flip-flop to the center, Biden was prepared for Ryan to do the same and instead of retreating in incredulousness as this right-wing duo feigned outrage at their longstanding positions being accurately described, Biden took turns chuckling and looking aghast.

After that performance, I’m just waiting for Mitt’s next opportunistic flip flop as he announces his new VP pick, Joe Biden.

True Story.

Monday, August 30th, 2010

Via Design Crush. Original image from here maybe…or here…or let me know if you know…

“Outsiders are what people want right now.”

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

From James C. McKinly, Jr. and Clifford Kraus in the New York Times‘s reporting of the Republican party primary yesterday in Texas:

“You have got to give Rick Perry and his team a great deal of credit for being the longest-serving governor in Texas history and still running a campaign as an outsider,” said Mark Sanders, a Republican consultant. “Outsiders are what people want right now.”

Conan’s Revenge: Comedy Bits That Aren’t So Much Funny As They Are Crazy Expensive

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

I’m with #teamconan

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Not only am I a fan of Conan, but Leno’s smugness – especially in light of all this – really pisses me off.

Conan O’Brien Image by Mike Mitchell licensed as “Show the world whose side you’re on! Feel free to use on blogs, twitter, etc.”

John Yoo’s Scandalous Affair With George W. Bush!

Monday, January 11th, 2010

Is it okay to laugh at a clever remark by a man who instituted torture in America with his infamous and incompetent “torture memos”? Well, when the line is this – I’d have to say sure. John Yoo as interviewed by Deborah Solomon for the New York Times, as she tries to press him for how close he was to George W. Bush – and he demurs, explaining that he was low-ranking rather than really answering the question:

Q: So you’re saying you were just one notch above an intern, you and Monica Lewinsky?
A: She was much closer to the president than I ever was.

Stay tuned for Jon Stewart’s interview of Yoo tonight. Given how Stewart has taken on the architects of the Iraq war when they appeared on the show, there seems little doubt he will go after Yoo regarding his extraordinary legal justifications for the expansion of the powers of the executive branch, and most specifically, for the torture memos. Yoo, for his part, seems as if he will try to dodge the questions with cute one-liners as he did in this interview – which he does rather well I would say.

[Image by sixes and sevens licensed under Creative Commons.]

Global Warming: A conspiracy perpetuated by the sushi-eating, coastal elites known as polar bears.

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

Of course, such anti-polar bear sentiment doesn’t exist beyond The Colbert Report and satire of global warming denialists.

Oh, wait. I forgot about Sarah Palin, populist tribune of all that is good, who has taken a vehemently anti-polar bear stance, writing in yesterday’s Washington Post:

As governor of Alaska, I took a stand against politicized science when I sued the [Bush administration] over its decision to list the polar bear as an endangered species…

TownHall.com Still Thinks Its Readers Are Idiots…

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

I love subscribing to TownHall.com’s emails. They are often good for a chuckle.

But what truly surprises me is the absolute contempt they show for their readers. Obviously, the website promotes political lies and makes no attempt to disguise this. But, as conservatism today has devolved into a reality-show equivalent of  thrillers like The Da Vinci Code or any Vince Flynn novel – complete with ominous music that would play in the background if these novels are movie-fied – the fictional world created by these lies seems to provide enjoyable entertainment.

But TownHall.com apparently believes its readers will not only gullibly accept lies that confirm their political convictions, but are gullible enough to invest money in all sorts of shady enterprises and get-rich-quick schemes. Back in August, I posted one such email – in which TownHall.com allowed an advertiser to use its brand and email list to send out a promotion for a newsletter suggesting that you too could get “A potential 6-figure fortune within 12 to 24 months” by investing in Constitution Mining Corp. Nearly 5 months after this email – but to be fair, less than the 2 years they are talking about – Constitution Mining Corp. has increased in value from $1.25 per share on the day of the post to $1.53 today. A significant increase, but nowhere near the 430% return discussed in the email.

Now, TownHall.com has sent out another amusing email (full text here for the patient and curious) – this time promoting a special investigative exposé:

Special Investigative Exposé

“The $50 Billion
Shadow Syndicate”

How a Ruthless Government
Conspiracy Could Make You
$97,500 Richer by March 2010

*(The following true story will make you mad as hell. It could also make you very rich…)

The email, when printed out, was 21 pages long. But in its 21 pages, it did not manage to mention the name of the company it was promoting. To get that, you need to buy the $49 subscription fee for BreakAway Investor. Of course, Michael Robinson, editor of BreakAway Investor, didn’t make that clear until about 15 pages in. But in the meantime, Robinson spun a fantastical story  of a dark, nefarious conspiracy – which you too could become rich by participating in!

I can’t emphasize enough how extraordinarily unique this situation is. In fact, the last time an opportunity this explosive… and this lucrative… came along was in 1933…

… right in the middle of the Great Depression…

… when a similar U.S. government “conspiracy” sent tiny military contractor EBC soaring 55,000%… turning a handful of people into multimillionaires.

Folks who got in early had the chance to turn a $5,000 investment into $2.5 million.

The opportunity I’ve uncovered today offers similar riches. And while a 55,000% return might take a while…

… folks who get in now — on the GROUND FLOOR — could be $97,500 richer by March 2010. Maybe a whole lot more…

There is one catch, however…

(more…)

2parse.com Presents Exclusive Pictures of Obama Bowing to More Anti-American Groups

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

The right wing is aflutter with the news that Obama not only bowed to the Saudi king, but the Japanese emperor. Clearly, this man hates America and worships this foreign leaders. We all remember the pictures:

But 2parse.com has an exclusive look at Obama bowing to various other anti-American groups.

(Update: And it turns out George H. W. Bush was a secret, America-hating Commie too.)

Little anti-American kids:

America-hating Girl Scouts:

Joe Biden:

More below the fold.

(more…)

Glenn Beck: God Is An Atheist!

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Watching this clip from Glenn Beck, I find it hard to understand how his mind works. For some reason, he seems to have attributed the idea of “beating swords into ploughshares” to Communist influence. He clearly knows it is from the Bible – as he reads Bible citation from one of the images (the image actually appears three times in the Bible – in Isaiah, Micah, and Joel.) But the fact that this biblical image inspired a statue that the USSR donated to the United Nations is proof enough to Beck that not only was John Rockefeller a secret Communist, but that as he donated land to the United Nations, the UN must be as well? I think that’s the point he’s making. (Trying to follow Beck’s “reasoning” is like waterboarding my frontal lobe.)

But with that type of association being used as proof, and as the Bible was obviously written by God himself, doesn’t that make God a Communist?

And if God is a Communist, and Communists are atheists, then wouldn’t that mean God is an atheist?

And if God is an atheist, and we are supposed to follow God, shouldn’t we all become atheists as well?

Damn – who would’ve thought that Glenn Beck, darling of the right wing, is actually an atheistic Communist who – it is rumored – raped and murdered a young girl in 1990? I could see some people speculating that he did so because she was a God-fearing Christian who wouldn’t give in to his atheistic advances.